When we were dating, Al said to me one day with a huge grin on his face, “You make me feel like a king every morning when I walk out that door.” I smiled to myself and thought, “Awww! How nice of him to notice.” LOL. You see, that’s what I was aiming for. To make my man feel like he was the king of the world (or at the very least, the king of our intimate universe).
Hokey? Maybe. But when it comes to love, if you’re not making the person you’re in love with feel special, valued, and treasured, why be in the relationship in the first place?
Too often we immerse ourselves in relationships thinking of only WIIFM – What’s In It For Me? In my humble opinion (and girls, by now you know there ain’t nothing humble about my opinions), that’s shortsighted and generally leads to short-lived relationships. I know—been there, done that. But ironically, the benefits of making your significant other feel treasured and special are enormous to you as well. Because when a man feels like a king, he acts like a king. Which means he’s not going to hold back on making you, his queen, feel like royalty, too.
So how do you make your man feel like Your Royal Highness? I’m all about using our personal power tools to bring about change. So I’ll share my four surprisingly powerful but simple secrets, but only if you promise to let me know in the comments if any of them work for you.
- Compliment him OFTEN. Men appear tough on the outside. But inside they still need to know that they are THE man! My husband is fine. And I’m not afraid to tell him every chance I get. Via text messages, “Hey handsome, you were looking fine when you walked out that door this morning.” Over the phone, “Babe, you made the best dinner last night! I was just sitting here thinking about it.” And in person as you kiss him on the cheek, “You’re always so nice to strangers. I love that about you.” Now, don’t go stealing my compliments. You need to be sure your compliments are authentic to YOUR man. And you can’t fake it. He will know. So be sincere.
- Let him know how THANKFUL you are to have him in your life. Men need to be reassured that they’re doing a great job of taking care of you and your family. He doesn’t always know it. So you have to TELL him, literally. “Honey, you do such a great job of taking care of everything. Thank you!” See how easy that was? Practice it daily, and you’ll notice a huge difference.
- Ask (politely). Don’t tell him what to do. He’s a grown A** man. You aren’t his mom. So ladies, please don’t tell your man what to do! You can ask him (politely) to do things: take out the trash, put together your bookshelf, run the kids to their practice, etc. But don’t tell him. The difference is often just mere punctuation and tone. If you are asking, there is a light question mark at the end of your voice. “Honey, would you please take out the trash?” is different than “Honey, would you PLEASE take out the trash!” One sounds like a polite question while the other sounds like an exasperated demand. The only difference was in how you said it and the punctuation mark you used at the end of your sentence. You want to make your man feel like a king? Pay close attention to your tone!
- Reward him when he does do what you’ve asked him to do. I know, I know. Y’all gonna give me some heat on this one. But think about it … when you celebrate your man taking out the trash by kissing him every time he does it, what man wouldn’t look forward to taking out the trash? If you got rewarded every time you did something, wouldn’t you want to do more of it, too? All the yucky stuff we have to do every day in life rarely gets rewarded, and we start to take each other for granted when it gets done. But that’s an easy fix, if we just take a few moments to offer up some type of reward for tasks completed. (And notice I didn’t say completed well. Just completed. The fastest way to get a man to STOP doing things for you is to complain about how he did it! But that’s another post for another day.)
I promise if you try these four easy tips on your guy, he’ll feel your love and offer up some love benefits for you, too. But y’all don’t have to listen to me. All I know is MY MAN says I make him feel like a king, and I reap the benefits. Every. Single. Day! JS