New love is fabulous and causes your heart to race and your stomach to flutter, right single ladies?? But admit it, along with the butterflies also comes a touch of anxiety. Will you like the way he kisses? Will your parents like him? Will your girlfriends get along with him? How big is his penis? Screeeech! Say what now?

RELATIONSHIPS - size power

Oh, come on! Am I the only woman who was ever concerned about the size of a guy’s joy stick? I think not. I’ve heard friends say things like, “I thought I had accidently touched his arm.” Or “My pinky finger was bigger.” Anybody who says that size doesn’t matter clearly hasn’t been faced with an issue where it did indeed matter!

The average length of a man’s one-eyed snake is between 4.5” and 6” in length (depending on which website you get your information from). Anything falling outside of that range – in either direction – can create FOBH (fear of being hurt) or FOMO (fear of missing out). One extreme or the other is usually what gets our tongues to wagging. But if a guy is too big or too small, yes, we ladies are gonna chat about it. Sometimes we may withhold the name of the length/width-challenged or length/width-surplus guy, but yeah, it concerns us (when we’re honest about it).

When it comes right down to it, women hold all of the power in this situation. And like any person in power, how you wield it makes all the difference in the world. You could scar the man for life by making comments such as “Are you kidding me right now?” Or play it off discreetly, “I’m sorry, lover, that’s my mom calling. I forgot I promised to come visit her today.” No worries if it’s 2:00 in the morning. Just the mere mention of the word “mom” will hopefully cause him to deflate while you make your getaway.

But the lesson here, my sweeties, is that in my humble (ahem) opinion, I think it’s always smart to test the product before you buy it (i.e., get married). Once he’s put a ring on it, you are stuck with the total package (the whole enchilada, if you will, or lack thereof), and at that point there are no give-backs! At least not for size issues.

Yes, there are many varying opinions about this. And if the man has everything else you need, perhaps it won’t be a big deal to you. Only you can determine that. But in case your mama never told you, intimacy and sex (not always one and the same) are important to a relationship. And you want to be excited about both (at least in the beginning when passion reigns).

So for any of you starting out with new flames this season, I suggest sticking with the 90-day “no cookies until then” rule, and then checking out what you’re getting into to be sure you’re thrilled with the size and delivery! But as always, use your power wisely (and kindly).

Open to hearing other thoughts! I know you ladies have some on this topic!


  • Mischa

    I appreciate your candor. I appreciate you creating a space for grown women to know their hidden concerns matter. As a single lady; as a woman of deep faith who desires to live in God’s will and also be in love again this is a thing. I’m 50 and don’t have time for wondering. Neither do I have time to be disappointed. Me and God talk about men and relationship stuff all the time. The bottom line for me is that while character and personality and honesty and authenticity and financial stability matters a great deal, size and intimacy absolutely does too.

    • Powerful Penny

      We are multidimensional women! All aspects of our lives matter. That’s why I like talking about the professional me, the family girl me and the intimate me along with the Luxe life me! All of that rolled into one makes me whole. So absolutely this was a chat that needed to be had! Glad you liked it!!

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