This month I want to give some extra love to a few relationship experts and their books that have changed my life. Teaching relationship courses means I have to stay on top of my reading game. Plus, reading is a huge hobby of mine, especially self-help books that give me a double dose of excitement—I get to learn something and relax with a good book.
Had I read Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands before my first marriage ended, my first marriage might not have ended! It’s that good.
Y’all should know Dr. Laura. She’s that tough-as-nails, straight-to-the-point radio host. I tend to lean toward the tell-it-like-it-is authors. (Hmm, wonder why!) But just in case you need a reminder of who she is, here she is on Larry King talkin’ marriage.
For me, Dr. Laura got it all the way right in this book primarily because she talks about how men really just want to be appreciated, cared for, and made to feel important. She says, “Men are simple. They know it. Women have to learn it if they expect to be truly happy with their man.”
Now, I’m gonna stop right here and tell you straight up that some women will find—and have found—this book to be antiquated in the way that Dr. Laura sticks to strong gender roles, including what a woman should and shouldn’t do in the home. And I’ll tell you it IS things like cooking and cleaning. I am a traditional woman. I actually enjoy doing things for my man that he enjoys because when he’s happy, I’m happy! In my first marriage, things were different. I had some growing and some learning to do. I didn’t always put my husband first. I can admit that … now.
And for those of you with small kids and jobs and other responsibilities, you understandably want to tell your husband to get over himself when YOU’RE managing 97% of everything that makes the home, hearth, and children run smoothly while he may not be pulling a full load. But don’t do it! Keep your mouth SHUT. You hear me, girl? (Lol!)
Through the examples in the book, Dr. Laura showed me what couples do to one another, how disrespect and disdain and unchecked words can be a big ole problem. Think about it—who wants to feel like they’re not a priority? That what they bring to the table isn’t valued or appreciated? Not me. Probably not you. So why can’t we take the time to do and say things that make our hubbies feel warm, fuzzy, and needed?