We all know we are not guaranteed tomorrow. That means we have to seize the day, my friends. I live my life this way, and I try to instill this upon each of you. This way of living can also be applied to how often we tell our kids, “Hey! I love you!”
I have a 21-year old son. We have a fab relationship, and I text or call him pretty often (even though I don’t always get a response back). But I try to always end with some form of “I luv U” note, even if it’s a dang heart emoji. Your kids being rooted in your love is important, and you can’t take for granted that they KNOW that’s how you feel. In the advertising industry, you are told that it takes people seven times to hear a message about your product before they buy it. Yet I have friends who tell me (especially men) that they can count on one hand the number of times their parents (usually their dads) told them they loved them. So they have it tough because they may not believe they are worthy of love, and you know what that means. They can’t say it or give it to someone else. Don’t be one of these parents.
Also, don’t fall victim to “I may not say it, but I show it every time I give you money or help you out of a sticky situation.” You literally cannot buy love. Your kids need to hear it. Often. Until they’re buying it, and sharing it with others.
And why are you prone to being selfish with your words of love? How do you feel knowing that you are loved by your parents or significant other or your I-love-you-unconditionally dog who erupts into rapture each time he sees you? Feels pretty darn good, doesn’t it? Love is a powerful sumthin’ sumthin’. To be told that you are loved, to tell someone that you love them, is EMPOWERING! You are telling them, confirming, reinforcing, that they are worthy of love … that they are deserving of love. Everyone, regardless of age or status, needs that in their lives. And your kids’ first source of love should be from you.
It is your parental duty to uplift your children and make them confident individuals so that they can be productive citizens of the world who go out and kick azz in whatever they do. That, in turn, makes this planet a better place to live! On top of that, if they love themselves, they will be better equipped to have healthy, loving relationships with someone else. And don’t we want that for our children?
So, I want you to try something. IF you’re having trouble saying “I love you” to your kids, each night for a week (just seven days to start), look yourself in the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself. Say it and mean it. Then, work up to another week, and then a full month. I think you’re going to feel some kinda way! You will eventually believe it because your brain believes that which you constantly tell it. Then, take one week, or even one day to start, and email, text, Facebook messenger, or even call your kid and say, “I love you!” If they fall out or get real quiet, no need to explain or anything like that. Just say it again, “I love you. That’s all” and hang up real quick. Then grab yourself a glass of wine.
I joke a bit, but in all honesty, saying “I love you” is so important for self-worth, believing in yourself, taking care of yourself, all kinds of things. So, be sure to say it to your kids often. And if you’re already doing it, do it more. I love you!